Divorce is really hard on people. But divorce is also hard on the friends watching it because you may not know how to support your friend.
Even if things are amicable and they are using mediation, it doesn’t mean your friend doesn’t need support.
Below are 7 ways to support your friend going through a divorce:
1. Babysit the kids
Your friend may only need your help for a couple of hours while they are in mediation. If they have to appear in court, that may last the entire day and it would be expensive to pay a babysitter for all that time. Even if you babysit so they can take a couple of hours to get away they will appreciate it.
2. Be the shoulder to cry on
Depending on how devastated they are about their impending divorce their family may already be burned out supporting them emotionally. Take one for the team and offer emotional support. Listen to them cry. Listen to them telling you the same story they told you 5 times before. You don’t have to offer solutions, you just need to be compassionate and loving. It’s likely they’ve lost a lot of friends already because people have chosen their ex over them, so they need your friendship.
3. Make them laugh
Send them a funny video. Tell them about your crazy boss. Pop some popcorn and watch a funny movie together. Laughter is healing.
4. Workout Together
If your friend has a gym membership but they aren’t going because they’re depressed, then go with them to the gym. Take a surf lesson. Go rollerskating if you’re really brave. Or go for a leisurely stroll and just enjoy the sunshine and being outdoors. There’s something about nature that is a natural pick-me-up.
5. Bring them Dinner
They may not be eating very well, or at all. If you live far away, send them a dinner delivery. They need to eat and you can help with that. Don’t forget to send dessert!
6. Listen without Judgment
If the end of their marriage was especially diabolical don’t judge them for not jumping ship sooner. Don’t judge them for loving a horrible person. They’re getting enough judgment from everyone else. They need to know you’ll be their friend no matter what and that you’re safe to talk to.
7. Distract them
Divorce can be all consuming. They need regular breaks from the drama, stress, fear and intense emotional pain. Share some of your own life drama with them. Invite them to parties and events you attend. Take them to a networking event so they’ll have to get cleaned up and get out of the house.
If you live far away from your friend you can always send them a nice card that shares your love and support.
If you’re reading this it means you’re a good friend because you’re concerned about your friend going through a divorce. Any effort you make to support them will be appreciated and they’ll never forget it. Go on with your bad self.
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