It’s a paradigm shift to think that divorce can bring peace to a family, but it truly can. The one caveat is that it depends on how you divorce.
Divorcing in the traditional way of “lawyering up” does not promote peace. Usually when someone lawyers up it means they are going to war and getting what they want by any means necessary. (That is not always the case, such as in instances of domestic violence where the lawyer functions as a protective buffer for the abused spouse.) However, when the balance of power is equal between the divorcing parties they often choose to get a lawyer so they can increase their power and win.
No one wins in divorce! It’s impossible.
A litigated divorce often takes longer and is definitely more expensive than a mediated divorce. In a mediated divorce spouses may still have attorneys but they don’t have to. They work together to separate their lives in the least destructive way possible.
Here’s how mediation brings peace. It stops the fighting and gets the divorce over and done with instead of being dragged on for months and years. You and your spouse are given the opportunity to reach agreements and work together to decide what is best for your family. Your communication and listening skills improve and you learn to treat the other person with respect even though you may hate their guts.
What a beautiful example to leave for your children so they will know how to behave in future situations. You are a living, breathing example of how they should live their lives. Don’t they deserve to see the parents they love treat one another with kindness and respect even though they are divorcing?